We make decisions on a regular basis that trap us into a particular existence. Decisions are steps down a path. The further you get down the path, the more difficult it is ever go back.
What job to take. Where to live. To get married or not. Have kids or not. When to get married or have kids. Even smaller decisions. Who to spend time with. What to spend time on. Every one of these decisions contributes to the trap. There is no avoiding being trapped. You might try to avoid it, for example, by changing careers often. But even that traps you. If one day you realize you would prefer a life with long standing, solid roots, it might be too late.
The word trapped has a negative connotation to it. If you’re a good decision-maker and are on the lucky end of circumstance, you might be trapped in very pleasant existence. But you are still trapping yourself with your decisions.
You could attempt a do over. Rick Rosner appeared in an episode of Errol Morris’ First Person. He told the story of how he kept trying to do high school over again. Here is a clip from the show:
It’s a natural desire. You live through some experience, like high school. You learn from it. You know what you would do if you could go back.
But, life is an apprenticeship for a job you’ll never have.
Your new site looks really good!
I guess it is interesting to think about what your life might look like if you made different choices. When I do that, it makes me so grateful for the choices I made. I can’t imagine my life any better (and I really mean that)!
haha… yes we are happy with the choices we made because we aren’t really aware of what the alternatives are. Who knows- had we chosen another path, we’d think to ourselves- “Wow, I am so grateful for the choices I made to get here.”
If you are generally a content person, you will make the best of your situation, mentally.
path2felicity,
I agree completely. I suspect people are biased in favor of thinking their decisions are better than they really are. I was trying to get at that idea a little with this post. That kind of bias is probably quite reasonable from a happiness perspective. I guess as long as overconfidence in previous decisions doesn’t have a negative impact on future decisions, it’s okay. Self-deception can be beneficial. In fact, it’s probably necessary at times.
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